My Life With My Husband Is About Greetings And Care why Because I Really Appreciate and Love Him for what his always doing to me At the Time.
By Hajia Fatima Chikaire
I will tell you an aspect of my life with my husband that is related to greetings and showing care, not for anything but because I want us to understand the situation of how everyone takes it or does it.
First of all, the age between me and my husband is 11 years, and the age of our marriage is about 21. But every morning I greet him, whether it’s on the phone or when he comes home. I have three types of greetings for him, each of which has a season, time and reason for doing it.
1. I used to give him a respectful greeting that I would kneel down before greeting him, or give him a short bow to shorten the length (when he comes back from the office).
2. I used to greet him in the form of love which involves greetings with words that are combined with hugs and kisses.
3. I greet him like a friend, let’s shake hands and separate.
Even if I call him on the phone or he calls, I make sure that I greet him and know about his condition and health.
Although he is my boss, he greets me in two ways: 1. A greeting of love and compassion, and 2. A greeting like that of friends.
Every day before I wake up, I will hear him saying, “Good morning”, “Good morning” or “Good morning beautiful. Get up so I won’t be late.” It will include hugs and kisses. This is a custom that we have been contradicting ourselves for a long time.
When he comes home from the office, we greet each other with hugs and kisses (unless one or all of us perform ablution together) and say, “Good to see you”, “Good to see you too”. We are offering this prayer and you hold on to this ablution and we will greet each other with love.
If he had guests and they were in the living room for a while and he didn’t hear me (because he knew I wanted to sit and chat with him), he would let his friends come to where I was, and he would say, “I heard you.” It’s quiet, I said let me come and greet you.” I used to say to him, “Thank you for this greeting.” He always makes me happy because he always remembers me even though he is having fun with his friends.
At the beginning of fasting, we share a room because the time we sleep and wake up is very different, so I go to bed and wake up earlier so that he has friends to drink water and they stop to chat before they go, while I finish my Asham. you are sleeping
But he never passed by without checking in on me. Whether I slept or not, he would come in and check on me. When he leaves for tahajjud, even though I usually leave before him, but before he starts he will come to check on me to make sure that I have left. If I hear him being quiet, I go to check on him because I know he is late in getting up.
In addition to being healthy, I have not been able to spend the night where he is, so that my body temperature and movement will not prevent him from sleeping, but every night he will come in and check on me twice to make sure that I am healthy and in good condition, sometimes I don’t even Knowing that he came in, he said, “I came back and heard that you fell asleep at the time.”
Sometimes when I greet him, he tells me that he will not answer and I crouch down before he answers. At that moment, I bowed down to the ground and changed the tone of my words, which I used to return to him as royalty, enough with my country, he responded like a king in his house. When I finished he used to say, “So what are you doing!” I used to follow him with, “I am the obedient Sardauna, the son of the Judge, the son of the heir of the Malam, the grandson of the Malam, the son-in-law of the White Witch”. Most of the time on this side we laugh. Then he said, “Come here,” and pulled me to his body.
In the morning greetings that I used to say to him, which is usually when he comes back from the morning prayer, I often include, “Oh, your mother and father?” He used to say to me, “They are fine, now I have greeted them,” which he means to those who pray.
He never came home and I didn’t greet him and ask about the office service day, what time I know they will be working, or any challenge I know they are going through. Sometimes when he complains about a task he has done or a challenge he has with someone else, I say to him, “They should leave me with you, by God, so that they don’t make me old with you just like that”, or I will say, “If someone doesn’t stop bothering you, I will sue him. Just like that, where is the reason that will keep you sad for no reason?”
I usually do this to give him a chance to calm down and show concern for his life issues.
What we do usually increases our calmness, closeness, fun and peace between us, and it proves to me his compassion and care for me.
Therefore, in our case, we consider greeting to be a door that we show care and love between us, not a door that if one does not do it, he is looked down upon or not cared about.
My married life with my husband did not start from that.
The fact that yesterday I saw some of them saying as if in a story book how we deal with our problem when we have a problem.
First of all, our married life is like any other marriage, we have problems and challenges that we have been facing since the first year of marriage until today, we have trials that we are still facing, we have differences between us, we have our shortcomings, we have bad habits that all of us are patient and lonely on each other.
But thanks to God’s help and help, we have protected and refused to allow these things to have an impact on our marriage which would be the cause of our instability. We tend to look at each other’s goodness more than each other’s badness, and we are patient with each other as much as possible. If you have a problem, we don’t always let it take time and we don’t prepare; In fact, all the anger with the hill does not last more than a few hours to one to two days, three times, then we will make a ‘welcome back’ and continue from where we left off.
Since we got married, everyone knows his position and the responsibility he has in the marriage. I put my head where God placed me, he took his head where God raised him. I consider my husband to be my privilege and my secret even when we got married two years ago and he started working in the government whose salary at that time was N18,000, but I never underestimated what he did to me or what he did in his house No, even if I focus on what other people get that I don’t get in his house, he never did any work in his house that I despised when I said that she did little for me or that it was not what I wanted. In fact, I usually give him the opportunity to choose what he thinks he can do. And he never fails to show his zeal to keep secret from us exactly what God instructed him to do at that time. Everything he did, I always responded with joy, praise and gratitude, which I will do until tomorrow.
Although at that time I had the opportunity to find money or support from my parents, but by God I never cried to him about the life we were in, and I never went to anyone’s house to seek help, because I did not want what He will lose his value if his failure is seen or if I make him feel that he failed to notice me as his leader and leader of our lives.
He has never lost his heart to become a slave or to be the son of a maul or to refuse to serve his family. If he doesn’t have it, he will try to save his honor in the eyes of his family. (This behavior makes me see him as a hero and a perfect man, because he works with intelligence, knowledge and the strength that God has given him to take care of the rights of his family).
Since the beginning of our marriage, I have been giving him all the respect he deserves. I obey him until the next day, he can make me or prevent me from stopping, I don’t even want to hear the reason. I remember sometimes every day when I went out I used to go to our house without asking him, I thought it was nothing, did he not like it. The day he said, “I forbade you to go to your house again until the day I told you to ask.” I didn’t even say anything to them and said, “Okay.” I didn’t go to our house again or ask to come until the day he decided to do it himself and gave me the opportunity to come. Sometimes he even says to me, “You haven’t looked at your house for two days,” or he says, “It was said that the Chief (Baba) has come.” Go and greet him.”
I always ask for his permission and approval in almost everything I do. I don’t even teach food lessons without asking for his approval. Even though I asked him to give me permission, something came up and he told me to be patient. I even returned the money that I paid to others, but with the power of God I got what I have been doing for a year without this teaching. I didn’t get it. Even this text I had to ask for his permission and he said that he should read it before I publish it.
He often shows his power and authority over some things but they don’t bother me because I know that he is my husband and he is enough to show this power and authority over me and live in peace. I don’t resist him if I see him doing this or get angry because I know he is a man. There are times when feeling and showing this enough is what confirms those who have enough and they are the leaders of the journey (behavior of almost all men).
I don’t get involved in his money, how much he earns, I will take my share or I will disturb him, or cheat him, who he is responsible for or how much he spends on himself or what he buys with the money ox. As long as he fulfills his obligations and there is no problem with it, it is his money, he finds what he wants, so he has the power to do what he wants with them.
There are things that I know he is patient with me about as he knows there are things that I am patient about him.
We always give each other time. When we have a problem, we sit down and talk to understand each other, everyone admits his fault where he made a mistake, and apologizes.
Whatever he wants I am very careful to do it because I know it is peace with every man. He didn’t want to see my sadness because he knew that the house was not pleasant when I was rude (I can be rude and rude even in the same style as any woman!).
We tend to be kind to each other, we encourage each other when we understand that one needs encouragement (emotional, mental and financial support).
We always seek God’s order, help and help in our society because we know that He alone has the power to maintain peace and happiness in the lives of His servants.
Our married life is like everyone else’s which includes its own challenges, trials and all ups and downs that are not shared in life. The only difference is how everyone understands married life, takes it and wants to do it or he does it.
We have taken it if we do not correct it, there is no one who corrects us, if we do not live in peace, there is no one who makes us happy, if we do not understand each other, there is no one who understands us, if we are not patient with each other. there is no one to do it for us, that’s why we are always asking for help and help from God to see that we get understanding and peace between us. Because we know that it is not our ability, our time, or our efforts that have provided us with this blessing, it is a gift and mercy from God.
Finally, I am grateful for all the prayers and wishes you have given me and my husband. God has given you more than what you asked for.
* Hajiya Fatima Chikaire published this comment on Facebook at the same time that there is a debate about whether it is appropriate or inappropriate for a woman to greet her husband at dawn